Don’t Cry!
Have you been told you are too emotional? Too touchy feely? I know I have and it sends a message that I “should” be different; that I should not be as expressive as I am.
Here’s the Urban Dictionary definition of touchy feely: Very emotionally open. A touchy feely person wants to share their thoughts and emotions and have others share theirs. Touchy feeling information is too personal, sensitive, reflective, sentimental. Sometimes referring to religious content/ideas. Typically referring to something negatively.
It seems that there’s more acceptance with those who live from the neck up; in the thoughts. What if we could perceive our emotions, not as defects, but instead as responses that work in tandem with the mind?
Because guess what? Our emotions DO work in tandem with our thoughts. Our cognition and our emotions are dynamic, interactive and interdependent. Cognition and emotions work together to contribute to our activity and behavior, and most of the time this happens automatically and on a subconscious level.
And the challenge is to increase our awareness of the emotions that arise in any given moment so we can make choices and decisions based on our physiological response to the situation in the moment.
Allowing oneself to access their touchy feely side is where the transformation occurs. It requires a willingness to let go of your beliefs about any or all of your emotions. Your conditioning has you believing that you can’t show your emotions because you’ve had situations in your past where you were judged for it.
“Don’t cry.” “You are too emotional.” “What a cry baby!” “Be happy.”
It’s no wonder why we feel ‘safer’ in our head. Being fully expressed means you might be judged as a failure.
What if you could become more consciously aware of what you are feeling? Perhaps it might feel scary to give yourself permission to feel angry, lonely, bored, resentful. Bringing awareness to your feelings and completely letting go of judging or managing them is where the transformation begins. We were not put on this earth to have a thought; we are here to have an experience and that can only be had by being attentive to the messages that are available in every moment. Once you allow yourself to feel whatever is there, then you are no longer imprisoned by it.
Enjoy this simple reflection exercise:
Find some quiet and stillness.
Spend a few moments in stillness and give yourself permission to feel whatever is there; whether it be anger, sadness, fear, etc.
Begin to consider all the behaviors that are driven by that feeling in a way that doesn’t serve you.
Now go back to that emotion and just be with it. Notice what shifts. If you feel resistant to the emotion that arises, allow yourself to simply feel the resistance. Allowing yourself to be completely present will train your mind (mind and emotion working in tandem) to make new choices that will allow you to be fully expressed and maybe even be labeled as “touchy feely!”
Bask in the knowing that your emotions are messages, asking your mind to work together to live authentically, passionately and completely self accepting!