You Don’t Have to Leave!
I’m having various discussions lately with my clients around the tendency to tune out and avoid what is. Being in reality is the most difficult thing to do because it requires us to feel everything and anything in the moment. Being in reality requires that we let go of any excuses or justifications that we tend to enroll in to deny what is truly before us. So you tune out in a way that has you avoid and deny the reality of your life. Excuses and justifications have us live in a fantasy of our life and it’s exactly what blocks you from living the life that you say you desire.
Being in reality is difficult because is begs that we see things for face value; face value being the truth.
As I coached Janice around this topic, she gained the awareness around all the ways she was escaping her truth, not wanting to face her reality that she was still gaining weight after all her attempts with diets and exercise. She realized that she was living in the excuse that she will start tomorrow. With the awareness work she committed to, she began to notice her excuse of starting tomorrow showing up in her consciousness daily, and she noticed how it was making her feel: frustrated, and hopeless.
Janice told me that by letting go of that excuse, she would have to do something different; that difference being really committed to her weight loss goals. She felt lots of resistance around this discussion because she knew it would require her to be 100% responsible for herself. She came to understand that making the choice to live in her reality meant that she would have to become someone she was afraid of becoming; someone she never knew.
She realized her greatest fear! She was so afraid of success by achieving her ideal weight and sustaining it that it kept her living inside that “I’ll start tomorrow” excuse because then she would not have to deal with becoming anew, the success that she always claimed she wanted!
Being in reality of our choices and circumstances, means we have to learn to stay, to have the conscious awareness to be present to each moment with a gentleness and kindness as you pause. The temptation to tune out, to bolt, to leave the present moment by numbing oneself with food, alcohol, sex, drugs, etc., will have you continue a cycle of self abuse.
Take the first step today by asking yourself if you are willing to stay and be with exactly what is. This is where the wisdom lies. This is where the miracles happen. The fear that you have been trying to numb yourself from craves your attention. The greatest gift you can give yourself and everyone around you is to be here now. There is nowhere else to be anyway. The rest is an illusion.